Children born in the same family, with the same parents can differ tremendously, in terms of personality and temperament. Discipline should, therefore, be implemented with this in mind. That which is effective for one child may be ineffective or harsh for another. This brings us to the controversial issue of spanking. There are those who believe that spanking should be avoided at all cost. Dr. Spock was the first to offer this idea. There is, today, a body of research which indicates that spanking can cause children to become aggressive. Specifically, Strassberg, Dodge, Petit and Bates conducted a study in 1994 using kindergartners as their subjects. The children were divided into three groups according to the type of discipline used by their parents: parents who spanked by using an open hand or an object, in a controlled manner, on the child's bottom; parents who hit or beat-up their child in an impulsive manner; and parents who disciplined without using any form of physical punishment.

The results of this study indicated that overall, children who were spanked, whether controlled or impulsively, were more likely to react aggressively than children whose parents did not use physical punishment. These children did not, however, engage in aggression that was unprovoked such as picking on other children. Neither did they use aggression to get something they wanted such as a toy from another child. There was also a difference in the children's aggression when spanking was implemented by fathers; boys whose fathers implemented the spanking were more likely to engage in unprovoked aggression (bullying).

There are other studies which show that spanking proves to have positive effects. For example, Diana Baumrind conducted a study using children between the ages of two and five years. The results of her study indicated that when used with children between these ages, spanking, i.e., a slap on the hand, is very effective at curtailing inappropriate behavior.

2. Be aware of the purpose of discipline: to punish inappropriate behavior and teach appropriate behavior. You want to show disapproval for the child's behavior, not the child. To do this, explain to the child, what (s)he did wrong prior to spanking him or her. Then explain what (s)he should have done. If you are too angry to carry out the explanation, then you are too angry to spank and you probably need a time out to cool off. After your time out, return to implement the punishment.